Helping Your Children Deal With Divorce: 7 Steps
When you decide that the healthiest thing for your family life is to end the relationship, your children may have serious difficulties in dealing with divorce, that is, in assuming the great changes that come after this situation.
Although the process is far from easy, you can help your children deal with divorce in a healthier way. If this is your case, put them into practice and you will be able to reduce the negative impact of this situation.
How can you help your children deal with divorce?
1. Let them know that they are loved by you and your ex.
It is quite common for children to begin to feel responsible for the separation and to associate bad behavior or an unsatisfactory result in school with the breakup of their parents. So that this does not happen, let them know that the causes of the separation are foreign to them and that parental love remains intact.
2. Plan alternate activities.
If your ex-partner is an inconsistent person who has already missed the time to share with your children, plan special activities that you can do with your children, so they will not feel abandoned if their father or mother cannot come.
Avoid making negative comments that affect your children’s opinion of their father or mother.
3. Give them enough confidence to communicate their feelings.
When you stimulate this dimension in your children, you will prevent them from feeling frustrated and gradually creating resentments. Talk honestly and openly with your children so that they learn that it is not wrong to communicate their feelings, if they do not want to talk, ask them to write a letter or draw a picture.
4. Encourage closeness with other members of your family.
Try to include other trustworthy and close family members in your family routines. If you do not have the figure of a father or mother present, a family member can give you a different vision of what you are and what you would like to be in adulthood. Bond with people who can bring positive things to their lives.
5. Avoid arguing in front of your children.
One of the keys to helping your children deal with divorce is never to see you arguing heatedly with your ex. Find the right moments to deal with conflictive issues for adults, children do not have to participate in it. Make sure the relationship is as cordial as possible.
6. Make them feel comfortable wherever they are.
Whether they live with you or come to see you only on authorized weekends or days, warmly welcome them home and show them that they have arrived at a place where they are welcomed and loved. Seek that the little or a lot of time you spend with them is pleasant and of quality.
7. Don’t overload them with your worries.
Do not complain about family situations when you are with your children. Childhood must be isolated from the conflicts of adults, let them enjoy their childhood in the healthiest way possible, when they grow up they will understand everything for themselves. Maintain the positive image that your children have of you and your partner.
Practical tips for parents facing a separation
- Avoid taking your child as a way to vent your resentment towards the other person. Don’t channel your negative feelings by restricting the time you allow them to spend with their parent.
- Communicate with your ex partner so that despite the divorce unanimous authority is maintained. Avoid contradicting yourself so that discipline and rules work properly.
- Have a family conversation when the age is right to sink in. Explain what is happening in simple terms and as positive as possible.
- If you see sudden changes in your child’s behavior, do not hesitate to seek the help of a professional who can guide you and tell you what the next steps are. In many cases, outside advice is required when helping your children deal with divorce.
- Stay calm so you can be a role model for your children. Before any action you take, you must be in good emotional health, you cannot give them the balance that you do not have.
