Educate Without Shouting
Being a parent willing to educate without yelling is a challenge that will not only benefit your child, who will grow up in a home where they will feel loved, motivated and focused, but also you.
Why? because you will be able to communicate better with your children, from respect. On the other hand, you will have a much stronger bond.
In order to educate without shouting, it is necessary to make an effort to leave in the past the parenting style based on brute force, disqualification and punishment, in general terms.
As Tania García, an expert in Respectful Education and family advisor, explains in an article, it is much more effective to learn to use the tools of respectful and positive parenting models than to continue using outdated models. It also advises to apply the necessary changes to achieve a harmonious and healthy environment at home.
The effort will be worth it because you will be able to establish a communication and parenting model whose foundations are trust, tranquility and the well-being of all.
Is it really possible to educate without shouting?
If possible. Now, if when reviewing this aspect we realize that we often yell as a way to get what we want, we should stop for a moment and reflect on why we yell. Do we get desperate quickly or do we get nervous?
According to Tania García, educating with shouting is the easiest, most comfortable and wrong way to discipline our children. She considers that parents “since they have no other tools, they decide to make use of what they have known when they were little, even if they do not feel good about doing it.”
Although many parents shout at their children as a method of education, this does not mean that it is the right thing to do, nor is it the most effective in the short, medium and long term.
Unfortunately, there are many families who have stopped talking to each other because they cannot communicate without yelling or verbally attacking each other.
Being a person who believes that he manages to resolve conflicts and difficulties by shouting indicates a very great poverty of resources and values.
Likewise, yelling keeps us in an aggressive, unreceptive and much less tolerant way; which can prevent us from obtaining a large amount of benefits.
Fortunately, there are other ways to work things out, which can be discussed and also negotiated. You just have to learn a few keys to learn to educate without yelling. Here are some of the best techniques that you have at your disposal.
Keys to educate without shouting
1. Try to see situations from your child’s perspective
Sometimes what seems like a serious offense to a parent (such as not tidying the room or not doing homework because they feel they already know the lesson in class and simply prefer to play) is not so serious from the child’s perspective .
Children see, in every situation, an opportunity to play and explore the world. So before you act or react abruptly to a teacher’s complaint or an uncomfortable situation, try to give your child at least the opportunity to defend himself and to explain what happened.
2. Listen to your child actively and reflect
Once you have listened to your son. Try to put yourself in their shoes for a moment and calmly analyze the matter. If you consider that your child has had a failure, it is best to reflect on the issue and guide him with kindness and patience so that he can identify the failure and also how he can correct it (or avoid it) in the future.
This is very important, as it will not only help your child learn to trust you, but it will also help him to be much more agile in general.
It will be easier for you to get him to obey you if you explain the why of things instead of resorting to yelling. By talking, they will listen to each other, understand each other and reach an agreement.
4. Talk to your child often
Promoting dialogue and taking care of the words we say will lead us to create a healthy habit and a much stronger bond between mother and child.
Try to understand him and explain what you expect of him without threatening or scaring him. That will make the difference between a child who acts consciously to one who acts out of fear.
5. If you were wrong, apologize
Don’t be afraid to apologize if you made a mistake. Offering an apology will not make you lose authority, much less lower yourself. On the contrary, it will give an idea of you much more accessible, wise and balanced.
Remember that the best tool to raise your child is to be consistent and know how to lead by example. If you were wrong, if you misjudged him, if you yelled at him: apologize and give yourself the opportunity to grow too. We guarantee that this will reinforce the love between the two of you and will certainly leave a better impression of you as a mother.
