Toxic Mothers: When Education Suffocates
Mothers are protective, loving, educating par excellence. Nobody teaches them to act like one because they don’t need it either.
Everyone, with their strengths or weaknesses, does the best they can to raise and make their child happy. But there are mothers who, in their wide range of affection and care, sometimes make the mistake of overprotecting and “drowning” their children. They are known by the nickname of: toxic mothers, and although that is not their purpose, they can do a lot of emotional damage to their little ones.
The emotional blackmail of toxic mothers
Toxic mothers are those who affectively manipulate their children, we have already said that the same consciously as unconsciously.
This procedure is always based on a specific purpose: that they forgive them, give them affection, love them, feel sorry for them, agree to their whims, behave as they ask …
The emotional blackmail of toxic mothers can begin with a:
—Give me a kiss and be good, I feel bad — while your son is a boy.
And in the future end in a:
“Leave your wife and children and come live alone with me.” I need you more.
The biological family: the first and the most demanding school
Sometimes the biological family becomes the most demanding school and instructors. Those who put the “bar” too high for the child, whether or not he has the aptitudes and capacity, makes a superhuman effort to reach it.
To reach the top, to stardom, to achieve success, to be the best in their field… there is the goal set by these peculiar educators.
Mom, dad, grandparents… many times they become the strictest school where the child, more than confident, finds the fear of failing and not living up to what is expected of him.
How not to be a toxic mother?
Mom, so that you do not become a mother of the popularly called toxic, or if you are, that you at least realize your behavior and want to act differently, we offer you these considerations:
Allow your child to achieve their freedom of thought
Although your child was born to you, your child does not belong to you like the shoes you wear or the clothes you wear. No human being belongs to another, no matter how small.
He, like the rest, has the right to be free in thought and feeling. Give credibility to his ideas, give value to his opinions and let him think and analyze for himself.
Don’t overprotect it
Overprotection is a harmful relationship that is established, usually between parents and children.
More than a great love, as some people often mistakenly think, it is a bond that binds the child and prevents him from behaving as he feels and is.
Stop being the center of your life
You do not want to be forever his attachment figure and the center of his attention: that person that, when he was little, he adored and always sought to play, sleep, eat … The woman who had no defects.
The center of his life is his life itself, or else whatever he wants it to be.
Do not raise him pending you, taking into account only your needs, limiting yourself to doing thinking about: what would mother say?
Demand him, but not too much
To demand more of him than you should is to make him unhappy, it is to turn him into a child who envies the conquests of others.
When a minor is demanded too much, he is urged to lie, personal reproach and fear of failure.
You do not want your little one to achieve what others. Everyone has different skills and abilities.
Educate him as a confident person
A child who is unsure of himself will always need to be under Mom’s skirt. A toxic mother feeds her son’s insecurity to assert herself as his prop and ensure that he always needs her, that he stays by his side.
In order not to be a toxic mother, you must educate your child as a self-confident being. Trust in your possibilities, don’t be afraid to take risks and build your own autonomy; With your advice, of course, but without your help being vital.
