Did We Choose A Partner Similar To Our Parents?
Young people spend a large part of their lives with their parents. They are especially with them in the growth and rearing stage. During childhood, the only reference of couples they see is that of their parents.
For this reason, it should not surprise us that many of them, when they grow up, choose a partner with characteristics similar to those of their parents.
But where does the idea that we choose a partner similar to our parents come from?
The evolution of the emotional realm
Adults guide their emotions and feelings based on their learning and parenting. This explains the predisposition of young people to look for a partner with whom to share their life with physical and personality traits very similar to those of their parents.
Without noticing and without looking for it, young people fall in love with people who act in a certain way like their parents. Many when they know this are scared and the first thing they do to react to this information is to deny it.
They get used to the idea that it is impossible to be true, but it is scientifically proven.
This does not mean that children have fantasies or are attracted to their parents. It is a matter of habit and upbringing.
Children, when they see an adult doing an action, repeat it because they think it is okay to do it. It’s about following their lead and repeating the preset patterns.
Lasting relationships as an example
This is why the example parents set for their children is so important. That children grow up seeing a healthy relationship, where the couple respects and loves each other, prompts them to want to be in such a relationship.
When children are very young, things around love dislike them. Once they grow up, they understand that to be happy as a couple they can be guided by the relationship of their parents.
Similarly, it is essential that children do not grow up witnessing a conflictive relationship. Any examples that are negative during their upbringing will reflect and influence their personal decisions.
As adults they will seek to heal their childhood wounds and pains due to their parents’ tough relationship. They will most likely end up having troubled relationships too.
What is the reason we choose a partner similar to our parents?
According to scientific studies, statistically it is likely that the ideal partner is based on the common characteristics of their parents.
American scientists assure that there is a connection between the genetic material of couples.
Beyond a scientific cause, you have to analyze and understand the fact of parenting. This is one of the reasons why couples are chosen, according to characteristics in common with their parents.
A life based on love and respect
There is basically a reason why we adults choose a partner similar to our parents. If they have always seen their parents age happily and they have given them love and affection, it is normal that they seek the same for themselves.
If since a person is little his parents have treated him with tenderness, it is understandable that a great bond is created between them.
If the father also provides food for the home and covers basic needs, it is logical that he becomes an example. Unconsciously, the child when he grows up and falls in love will try to find the same role in the other person.
The reason is that he senses that this person is not going to hurt him, because he relies on his emotions and his learning to guide him. If since you were a child you have been happy with someone like that, then you will want to spend the rest of your life in the same way.
The ideal couple
The ideal partner does not necessarily have to resemble the parents physically. What is certain is that the couple with whom we want to spend our whole lives will have similar traits to those of the parents if they have known how to act well as such.
In this sense, the attraction could be governed by the psychological similarity of the couples and the parents.
The choice of the partner according to the characteristics similar to the parents can be difficult to understand. However, it is positive that we can choose partners that suit our personality and style, even if unconsciously.
