All Those Wonderful Moments Alone With You
There are many hours that a mother spends alone with her child. They are moments of delicate intimacy where a fabric of emotions, sensations and bonds is drawn that reverts directly to the development of that child. In turn, the mother’s own personal universe also changes.
We do not always talk about this dimension that is so common as well as magical. Motherhood involves many things, and one of them is to leave behind that autonomy and freedom that we used to have. Go and come. Stay with friends, go out with your partner. Somehow, we always had some control over when to enjoy a moment alone and when to socialize, when to share time and experiences with who we wanted.
Now, loneliness is a shared space. In fact, it’s going to be like that for a long time. You are going to be two in the same body for much more than 9 months. That baby is going to be attached to you in order to survive, to be able to grow in happiness and security.
You will wake up in the wee hours of the morning and look at the city through the window. Everyone sleeps and you hold that special creature on your lap. They are magical moments of stillness, where silence envelops you and where you become fully aware of how many things have changed in your life.
Loneliness no longer scares you because now, there is that little life accompanying you and making you a much stronger person.
Those moments alone with you are the most important thing for your baby
It is curious how in recent years new sciences are being added to the field of the study of the baby in addition to medicine or pediatrics. Now, in the specialized bibliography on parenting, anthropology is added in many cases.
And what will anthropology have to do with telling us what is best for our children? This science forces us in many cases to reflect on the human being from a point of view not only cultural, but also biological and as a result of evolution.
Currents such as that of the anthropologist James McKenna arrive at the paradigm of neuroscience and psychology, who reminds us that the baby is a mammal, and that like any creature that has just arrived in the world, it only needs one thing: the closeness of its mother.
The baby who only knows how to sleep in your arms
Something that many mothers and fathers complain about is the fact that the baby is unable to sleep alone in his crib. He only falls asleep when we rock him in our arms or when he sleeps with us in bed.
Far from seeing this fact as something dysfunctional, anthropology has also come with force to remind us of one thing: the baby is governed by a vital survival instinct. Being away from your mother’s skin is almost like a threat. You feel scared and you look vulnerable.
It is a normal process. Little by little your nervous system and your brain will establish new connections and mature to turn off those fears, to appease that vital instinct. The day will come when he will prefer his bed, when he will no longer need our closeness so much.
Until then, the best medicine is love and patience.
You do not mind giving up your privacy, your independence
Someone may tell you that you are spoiling your child. That co-sleeping will cause the child to be insecure, that attending to all his cries will make him a dependent person … He will tell you this and much more, however, keep some of these aspects in mind.
- Science has brought some misconceptions to parenting. Let us remember, for example, the great value that until not long ago was given to the Estivill method.
- A mother, a father must trust their instincts. He will consult any doubt with his pediatrician, that is true. However, no one has the right to judge us for how we raise our children.
We love sharing those moments alone with them. Feel their breathing, appease their cries with a hug, let them fall asleep on our chest … We no longer care about the hours or the time. Only our son and make sure that he lacks nothing.
Those moments alone are part of a time that passes quickly: enjoy them
Whether we like it or not, there will come a moment when that magical intimacy will give way to another era. After the first steps and the first words come the years of curiosity, of wanting to touch everything. And almost without knowing how, one day he will jump out of your arms to go running with his friends, to discover the world and grow up to be taller than you.
Children grow up fast, but the moments stay . Therefore, do not hesitate to enjoy every second, every breath, breath and sensation shared with your baby alone. All those days leave marks: footprints in your heart and pillars of security, trust and affection in the brain of your children to grow up happy, healthy and strong.
