My Brother Has Special Needs
Having a sibling with special needs does not have to influence the day-to-day life of the whole family, although it does force them to change certain routines and establish others. That is why you may experience feelings and sensations that are difficult to understand.
How can the child feel?
There are many concerns and frustrations that you can feel if your brother or sister has special needs, perhaps you can identify with some of these:
Fear and anxiety
It can be difficult to understand the reasons why your brother is different. It’s normal, what you have to do is realize that this is not a negative thing: everyone is special for some reason. On the other hand, fear can overwhelm you with the uncertainty of what will happen to your future. You may even worry on a day-to-day basis if the child has health complications and must be admitted to the hospital.
Feelings of guilt
You could come to think that you are to blame for your brother’s illness. These feelings manifest during early childhood and later into adulthood. Especially when you have to leave home and your parents taking care of it. It is normal for you to follow your path and become independent, that does not mean that you love him less or that you are a bad brother. Always support him and hold out your hand.
Feeling of isolation, loss and loneliness
These feelings may be motivated by your parents’ need for attention, since they should spend practically as much time as possible with your sibling with special needs. It is important to find the balance to spend time alone with them, each child is different and needs time to be spent.
Feel ashamed
You may perceive your family as different from others because they have other activities or routines. But it is not strange since no two families are the same! Don’t be ashamed of them because they are the most valuable thing you have. The same is true if you feel embarrassed by having to respond to the concerns of your classmates and school teachers about your brother. Speak naturally.
Early maturity
You will be forced to mature before the corresponding age by the daily experiences in your home. Perhaps the absence of a parent, frequent admissions to the hospital or moments of tension will make them see things in perspective in the future and know how to react better to setbacks.
My brother has a special need, what can I do?
The following suggestions will help you deal with the situation in a positive way:
The role of parents
Parents are usually absorbed in the needs of their child with special abilities and do not seem to want to care for the other sibling. You can take advantage of the opportunities that your parents dedicate to you even for a short time, understand that it is due to their circumstances and that they do not do it with bad intention. Maybe in the future you will understand it better.
Communication: a positive aspect
Express to your parents or another trusted family member how the situation at home affects you. Acknowledging your doubts, fears, and feelings in front of them will make you feel better. In addition, they will know how to support you and you will come up with a solution together.
Learn about the disease
Knowing everything about your brother or sister’s illness will help you better understand their condition and put yourself in their shoes. As you grow, you will be better able to offer help.
Spend quality time with your brother
You will see that it is an excellent opportunity to share with the family. Even if you cannot do it directly with your brother, the fact that he is present will make you feel very good.
Be attentive to decisions that affect you
Taking part in the family’s decisions about your brother will keep you attentive and busy, and you will feel valued. Consequently, you will see that you are contributing positively to their well-being.
Positive aspects of having a sibling with special needs
Some studies by therapists have shown that children who have siblings with functional diversity do not have to cause maladjustment, on the contrary. There are many positive experiences of people who value having grown up with a sibling with a special condition. Well, that has kept the family together and allowed them to develop special qualities and virtues such as empathy, the ability to listen or having matured early.
In such a way that, if you have a sibling with special needs, despite how difficult that circumstance may be at times, you should maintain a positive attitude and realize that it is not a problem. Each person is different!
