Sibling Envy: Guidelines For Parents
From the birth of a second child to development in later years, jealousy and envy between siblings are often a frequent problem. Despite this, with the appropriate measures such jealousy should not pass to greater. The objective is to promote love and complicity between siblings.
Envy between brothers, what to do?
One of the biggest concerns of parents arises when quarrels, jealousy and envy are generated between siblings. Although it is natural for each to develop their personality and fight, it is also important to be vigilant for behaviors that demonstrate major problems.
In this sense, it is important to differentiate between jealousy and envy, since the latter is characterized by a sense of lack that seeks to appropriate what the other has. In general, envy begins to arise when you really want what the other has, be it something tangible or intangible, such as an achievement.
Importantly, there is a fine line between what is considered healthy envy and destructive envy. The first promotes self-improvement and striving to be as good as the other. The second, on the other hand, hinders these objectives.
Parents are, on many occasions and without realizing it, the first promoters of these behaviors. One of the reasons is that they show evident preferences for one of the children, generally the best behaved, the best athlete or the best student.
However, while it is important to encourage good behaviors, it is also essential to have a balance and control the reactions towards each of the children.
The solution begins with having patience and demanding a greater balance and impartiality towards the children. It is important to internalize that each child is different but not for that reason one is better than the other. You just have to be attentive to the qualities of each one to help them cultivate them.
Symptoms of jealousy and envy
Parents must be very attentive to changes in their children’s behavior, since this will make it much easier to take the pertinent corrections according to each situation. In this aspect, there are certain symptoms that must be controlled.
Sleeping problems
One of the main symptoms of jealousy between siblings — which arises mainly when a new brother is born — is trouble falling asleep. The child will try to seek the attention of his parents through this type of behavior unconsciously. Over the months it should return to normal.
Hostility towards parents
On many occasions the child becomes aggressive and hostile towards his parents. This is one of the most common ways of expressing jealousy, and in these cases, parents should make an effort to offer equal treatment and also dedicate the necessary time to it.
How to avoid envy between brothers?
Avoid comparisons
Comparisons have always been unfair and, incredibly, they are one of the main reasons why problems arise between siblings. The solution is very simple and is in the hands of parents : avoid comparisons.
Each child is different, has different abilities, and it is important to highlight the good in each one and not force one of the children to be or behave the same as the other.
Involve the child with the other sibling
Encouraging children to be together and share activities is essential for everyone to feel equally loved and avoid jealousy and envy. In the case of a new baby brother, it is important to instill love from the pregnancy and once he is born to involve the older brother in the care and games of the youngest.
In practice, jealousy and envy between siblings can be normal at certain times and stages. However, to prevent these feelings from growing, it is important that parents take the necessary corrections and promote love and respect. In the day to day, it is necessary to demonstrate balance in the reactions, avoid comparisons and encourage each child to feel equally loved.
